Thursday, July 30, 2009

It hurts knowing you have broken off a long relationship. In his email to me he questioned if how it was so easy for me to not even show any feelings. Funny he has no clue how tough it is for me to do what i did. It hurts me to hurt him because i truly did love him, and the truth is we never really get over someone. We will always have a special place for them in our heart. I have to be in constant prayer to feel better about my decision because it was so hard. Only those who have cut off a relationship can truly feel what i feel. Christ understands the most though because he became a man and can feel and know our pain. It will be a constant struggle for me for a while... But in the end i know God will guide me through.

Moving Forward

This is a start of a new blog for me. I figured it was time to get to it and blog alot more. Yah now i even added the lovely phone bloggin part haha great... i am turning into all those crazy people who have to know what is going on in every one's lives... I got news for you though i won't subdue myself to being insane and getting a Twitter.... as for the rest of my weirdness its time to just take time and blog.
I just broke up with Celvin for good. Many of you guys have been through these trials with me and know what i have gone through, but i think i need to just write it all down so i can put it aside and move forward.
I know that things took a turn for the worst after we broke up for the second time... I ended up dating someone else and that started the whole issue. Truthfully Celvin and I are just two different people. I am a very out going, crazy, fun loving person, and I love to be involved in church and it kills me to not be able to do that. I could truthfully go live in another country sharing the gospel living everyday on the graces of Christ providing for me. He is the type of person that will try to achieve everything he possibly can in life to have anything he wants.
Our friends are not similar at all as well. He told me recently that his friends don't like me... and i tend to ask myself how is that possible when i barely even know them. They seem to take my personality wrong which i myself know is very possible and common. My friends as well don't seem to understand him or get along with him and he tells me he doesn't like my friends either... So all in all its just not gonna work.
I am the girl that likes to be outdoors, possibly always doing something, spending time with friends and family, and just all around a goofball. He on the other hand loves to work alot and loves to play video games.
Right now i know it hurts this whole situation is painful and weird but i know it will only get better once i learn to get past this... I know i have some amazing people around me right now... some part of "the commune" and some just old time friends and the best human friend ever my mom. I also have a friend in my Lord and Savior what more could i ask for right?
Well it is now time for me to get back to working and i will blog more later...