Just writing for fun.

The time seems to be passing at a snails pace and the light on the outside world seems to be getting brighter. Oh for the feel of the great shade of cloud cover, that's the best it always makes me feel happier. I have no clue as to what or why i am writing just writing to pass the time. What i would give to smell that sweet sent of the fresh cut grass and the dew just hanging on the short blades of the gorgeous grass on a slick green. The yellow flag waving in the gentle breeze that signifies the extra challenge of the course. To be on that tee box anticipating the drive, and knowing clearly all the while that once i get up to that tee, into the stance, club in hand, and eyes on the ball i will severely screw it up. The only peace that is offered at that moment is the quiet chirping of the birds. After hitting the ball, chasing after it, all the while wondering who on earth invented such an incredibly strange sport, that so invitingly intoxicates all of us in to that strange world. Continuing on to the next awaited moment to hit that little dimple filled ball straight, and hopefully towards the green in which i will hopefully finish off by a masterful putt into the little round cup. Then slowly i wake up to reality i am not a skilled golfer i just play for fun, and how could i even ever imagine myself becoming something worth talking about. Leave that stuff for the pros. About my 5th hit to the green i begin to laugh at myself, why the crap do i put myself through this inevitable torture? Do i like the inflicted pain of failure? Nah, i think its just the anticipation of that very next "good shot" that just keeps you coming back for more like a drug that you have to have. I giggle softly to myself as i hear the goofy words of "quiet on the galley" ring through my ears i step up to the ball to putt it softly into the hole well not to softly since its about oh, a good 20 ft putt. Slowly it takes off then it begins to roll just a little faster on the downward spiral to the cup it begins to turn just the right amount, and the gorgeous sound emerges as it hits the bottom of the cup with a soft "clap". Nice, why can't i just successfully do that all the time.

Humph...

I must say that actually being single right now has been nice. I can just freely spend time with whomever i want whenever i want. I am just very tired from doing all that fun. Lol. Tonight will be a nice night though i get to spend it at home just kicking back and relaxing just the way i like it. :) I am looking forward to another trip around the world though i am itching to go some where and i can't quite figure out where right now... ha. As for the Lord I love Him more than anything and I am enjoying the time i get to spend praying and talking to Him through out the day. Sometimes i just get sick of the everyday going to church and being around constant people trying to make it seem like things are all good and happy go lucky. I just need my time sometimes that sounds prideful, but i just get sick of pretending to be good. I am who i am a sinner and i will always have sin in my life. Its how you deal with that sin that makes you who you are. I am happy to say i have some of the greatest friends in my life right now that have been supportive and have been there to encourage me throughout just the struggles within myself. *shout out to Lauren your the greatest love yah* Vacation time again yet??? Man i wish it was... but i get to go to the beach this weekend for my mom's birthday how cool is that gonna be..??? ok peace....

Accomplishment

You know that feeling when you have just finished a big project, or got rid of something out of your life that was driving you absolutely nuts? Well i got to have that big amazing feeling this weekend. I got my room painted finally in almost eakk... too long not even going to list the years. I am feeling very exhausted from all the work, and my back is a bit sore. As of now due to one of my dear friends i have a fish in my room. Its a beta but a very pretty one i am not a big fan of betas the only good thing is they are so easy to care for all i have to do is make sure its tank doesn't get too dirty and it gets food. I went to an Angels game last night :) they won!!!! OH ya. Now i am sitting at work about to pass out from lack of sleep. Anyways. good times...